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  • Writer's pictureSara Farwell

Siblings and how you the parent can help their relationships

I am child number 3 out of 4. My younger sister and I are 4 years apart. Now to say our relationship isn't the greatest would be an understatement. We really do not get along even now. There are probably many contributing factors to why but I am going to address one factor and how I am trying to help my own children when it comes to that factor and their relationships with one another.

My sister and I spent a lot of time together growing up. We went to the same summer camps and did a lot of the same activities growing up such as Girl Scouts. Once I was old enough, I was in charge of watching her after school as well. We did not get much time apart growing up. Thankfully we did get our own rooms when we were teenagers but they were right across the hall from each other. I feel that spending so much time with one another and being so different has led to some of our relationship issues which is why I aim to let me daughters have stuff that only they do.

As I type this, I am home with my 4 year old and 1 year old as the 8 year old is at horse camp for the day. Due to homeschooling during the school year, my children do not get much time apart so I try to get the kids in different things over the summer. This gives them a chance to be on their own and especially for my oldest, to not feel like her little sister is following her around. During the school year they only get time apart during the co-op that we attend, which is only a few hours once a week for 20 weeks total. The majority of the time though, they are together. They do love each other but I know for my oldest, it can be hard having a little sister in tow all the time. By signing my oldest up for summer camps without her little sisters, I am giving her a chance to just be herself, not big sister watching over little sisters.

Another benefit to this arrangement is having one less child in the house, even for only a few hours can really help us parents. It gives us time to spend with the other children more one on one which is beneficial for the parent child relationship. For me, it allows me to have a bit of a peaceful house. I am able to get a few more things done around the house usually and give myself more of a break.

I love my children and I know that all sibling relationships have their ups and downs. I hope though that by allowing my children time away from each other, that their relationship can be strengthened by the times spent apart. We shall see how my middle child and youngest get along as the years go by but I will try my best to continue to give my children time on their own to do something they enjoy. #horsecamp #siblings #middlechild #oldest #momofthree #relationships



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